FKS’ Greatest Hits (Updated)
This is FKS. My name’s Drew. I have a child that eats, cries, sleeps, and shits, in no particular order. I don't update FKS anymore. I post twice a week or so over at NFL site Kissing Suzy Kolber. If you don't like football, I suggest you go anyway for your daily dick joke fix.
Below are some of my favorite bits from FKS. It’s hard work creating a site that appeals to angry drunks and closeted perverts, but I’d like to think that I was more than up to the task. If you're new here, I recommend you check out the older posts. There are no throwaway dipshit posts here at FKS. Except for maybe one. Or two. Whatever. Check them all out if you're interested in wasting your precious time:
Five things that will scare the shit out of your kids
My brush with Playboy Channel infamy
The legendary (in my mind only) Father’s Day post
Why I fucking hate cats
My historic five days alone with the Girl (Days 1-4 are on the side when you click)
I teach you how to kill bugs like a certified Badass
The Drexl Spivey tribute. Sit down, boy, and grab yo’self an egg roll.
All the stuff that makes me a kickass husband
My experience with biofeedback therapy
Hooray, alcohol!
Catch up on how to properly brag like an asshole parent
One formidable night with the Girl as a newborn
The Chosen One emerges
And, of course, the post that started it all.
An impessive output, to say the least. Whoopi Goldberg would give both her testicles for material this good. I had a blast writing these. Hope you like them. Some of these posts may get erased in the future for reposting over at the Phat Phree. I'm sure you'll live.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and/or comment here. That was the best part of this whole thing.
Below are some of my favorite bits from FKS. It’s hard work creating a site that appeals to angry drunks and closeted perverts, but I’d like to think that I was more than up to the task. If you're new here, I recommend you check out the older posts. There are no throwaway dipshit posts here at FKS. Except for maybe one. Or two. Whatever. Check them all out if you're interested in wasting your precious time:
Five things that will scare the shit out of your kids
My brush with Playboy Channel infamy
The legendary (in my mind only) Father’s Day post
Why I fucking hate cats
My historic five days alone with the Girl (Days 1-4 are on the side when you click)
I teach you how to kill bugs like a certified Badass
The Drexl Spivey tribute. Sit down, boy, and grab yo’self an egg roll.
All the stuff that makes me a kickass husband
My experience with biofeedback therapy
Hooray, alcohol!
Catch up on how to properly brag like an asshole parent
One formidable night with the Girl as a newborn
The Chosen One emerges
And, of course, the post that started it all.
An impessive output, to say the least. Whoopi Goldberg would give both her testicles for material this good. I had a blast writing these. Hope you like them. Some of these posts may get erased in the future for reposting over at the Phat Phree. I'm sure you'll live.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and/or comment here. That was the best part of this whole thing.
posted by Big Daddy Drew at 11:37 PM
65 Comments:
"But first, I think I’ll hang out with the Girl a little more."
So, "hang out with the girl" is the new euphemism for devoting 70 hours per week to fantasy football at the expense of interpersonal interaction and bathing? Thanks for the heads-up.
Seriously, though, I'll miss this site while you are away from it. You always put a smile on my face. Thanks for the good times.
no! NOOOO! etc.
you have been literally - and i mean that in the literal sense, not the overused cliched manner - the only blog i have ever found that makes me laugh out loud. and i'm not even on medication.
if you must go, i wish you well. but i don't have to be happy about it.
Long time listener, first time caller.
It is a shame to hear this, love the blog. Come back soon if you want.
It's the end of an era, or at least the indefinite hiatus of an era. At least we still have you on KSK.
Kudos to Big Daddy Drew for making us laugh for all these months (and years for some of us)! You've produced some hilarious material and should be comended for taking a break without "jumping the shark."
"should be comended for taking a break without jumping the shark."
That's a great way of putting it!
Thanks for all your efforts, Drew. We do hope you come back.
The Roberto Duran of bloggers.
Puss.
You're giving me the "It's not you, it's me" routine?
i'm really disappointed... you crack me up. but i'm not too worried. once the Girl starts crawling and eating solids, you'll have more material.
you should add the FAQ's to the best-of list. those were some of my favorites.
Your blog was the most hilarious I have ever read. You are extremely talented (I think a comparison to David Sedaris is in order, although of course, you aren't gay). Anytime you are ready to come back, many people will be waiting...this mom included.
Best of luck with the girl!
Have fun with The Girl. Great blog, going to miss it.
I dont even have kids and I dig your site. Will catch you on Suzie. Good work.
rsr26
This sort of feels like the last episode of Seinfeld.
You're the man Drew-thanks for the many laughs.
And by the way, who's Roberto Duran, nooprah?
Goddamit, Drew.
But if you must, you must.
Here's hoping this "hiatus" of which you speak doesn't last over long.
Oh fuck you Drew, I only found this like a month ago. Why does everything I love die??!
What, did The Girl die or something?
I regret inform you that you are leaving a huge void in most of our lives. The only method for which you can fill that void is to post Jeremy's 15 minutes of James Cameron-esque directing.
Please, for the good of the internet.
Happy Trails to you...
Drew, you did a great job with your blog, and represented the best of what smug, sarcastic wit is all about. Smart people, with absolute dickhead tendencies, merging college educations with dick and fart jokes. Loved the blog, and enjoy your KSK stuff.
Oh, and Twin Peaks is also on "indefinite hiatus". Look forward to reading FKS on the twelfth of never.
Nooooo! I love this little piece of the web. Plus you have impeccable taste in music. Will check you out at the other place. Enjoy your time with the kid. :)
Awww, damnit.
Here's hoping the hiatus isn't permanent.
You're brilliant. You're crass. You're childish. You're wise. You will be missed.
good fucking riddance!!!
Nooooo! My friends, family and I have been literally dying laughing over this. C'mon. Don't leave! Why do the best things always have to have a premature end? "My So-Called Life" television show, "One Sweet Whirled" Ben and Jerry's ice cream, Eddie Bauer home, and now this! I can't take it!
man that fucking sucks! well good luck, i'll miss you bunches...
I don't check this blog for like 4 days and this is what happens? Man, this is really depressing. Of course I'll probably actually get work done, but still. Aw man!
Drew you cant stop now without publishing a blog devoted to womens breasts. Your writing is definetely the funniest on the internet, and I believe you are stopping now only becase the NFL season is beginning. T.O. and the grown fetus know as Brad Childress are not worth your time.
U have to come back to this. I still laugh thinking of the Drinking Fighting and Fornicating (revised) post on music today. Dude not many bloggers are fellow AC/DC fans.
U have massive humorous talent.
douchebag.
where is my badass list? and my goodshit list?
I WILL COME AT YOU LIKE A SPIDER MONKEY
:(
Thanks for what you did give us, Drew. Hope this is some sick joke.
Uh, is it bad if I have known about this since the day it was posted but still check regularly. You were the Seinfeld of blogs, in that I can never read another blog again.
"Uh, is it bad if I have known about this since the day it was posted but still check regularly."
I have also been checking daily. Sometimes going back and reading my own personal favorites.
You hear that Drew? Your blog was good enough that we still watch it even though its re-runs!
I'm checking daily, too. This site's more addictive than the H.
God Fucking Damnmit.
I am an angry, drunken, closeted pervert, who falls down laughing at your cheap Irish Catholic jokes.
Please post.
please, please, please come back
dgzath
I'm just going to post the 'Word Verification' letters everyday until you post again.
I'll do it. I will.
You were like a father to me. (get it?)
Encore, encore!! Please don't leave your devoted fans hanging!!
What's that sound you make when you're really drunk and really happy, yet really sad, and really mad, all at the same time? I'd like to see that sound spelled out.
And my friend just told me about you. Oh well, looks like there's a good amount of backreading I can do.
This article is fantastic; the information you show us is very interesting and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it... Glass Bongs and Bong featuring Herbal Smoke, water bongs, bongs online head shop, Marijuana Alternative,glass water bongs, Hashish, Ganja, homemade bongs, Smokeshop, cannibis, legal smoking alternatives for herbal highs and aphrodisia. http://www.headshopinternational.com
You motherfucker, you got me hooked reading your fantastic pieces of shit - now I have to sit home and eat fat free yogurt while watch trading spaces with my girlfriend, and I fucking HATE my girlfriend.
Come back when you get the time, you phenomenally gifted pansy.
Drew it's time to quit pretending and admit that you're not as happy as you pretend to be. Afterall, you have an imaginary family.
Do yourself in.
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I wish you had kept writing. This is pretty much the funniest blog I have ever read. Ah well, I will keep up at Kiss Me Suzy, which is how I found this gem in the first place.
You inspired me. I am sure you can keep this up while the wife feeds the daughter. C'mon, Pluh-eze!
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you have been literally - and i mean that in the literal sense, not the overused cliched manner - the only blog i have ever found that makes me laugh out loud. and i'm not even on medication.
Kurdele Nakısı elsanatı kurdele nakıslarından
i'm really disappointed... you crack me up. but i'm not too worried. once the Girl starts crawling and eating solids, you'll have more material.
Zerinegeliler turk sinemasındandır
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